THE PLAYERS...
A T THE INTERSECTION OF FAME & INFAMY…
MEET NIECY-X
FROM POPSTAR TO FASHIONISTA
I was born to be a star…
I was born Ida Mae Klinghoffer. I mean Wangholder, whatever. From the moment I was ripped from my mother’s womb kicking and screaming, I knew I was going to be a star. My former agent gave me the name NIECY-X. He said he got it from a wet dream. I was like Ewww! But the name kind of stuck, you know. Very sticky… Anway, growing up without any brothers or sisters meant I could put all of my effort into making my dreams come true.
Did you know that at age 3 and a half, I wrote and recorded my own song on the Fisher-Price Pop Til You Drop Rockin’ Recorder, the Diva Edition! What people have to understand is that I had fine motor skills at that age. I used to sing that song all the time. It was a little ballad called, “You suck!” I was a high-spirited toddler going through a mean phase, I guess, but I was very dedicated to my craft.
Flash-forward to 2020 and I land the Build Your Brand hit show for this new streamer Goodie Glamor+. The way they pitch it, I’m the star of a Reality-TV show about average folks looking to become entrepreneurs. Well, first, I let those producers know that there is nothing, I mean nothing, average about NIECY-X. The show was a success and I landed a recording contract with a major record label. Yadda Yadda Yadda and now Goodie Glamor+ is working with producers on a Build Your Brand Reunion Show. I’m so excited! I get to market myself as an Influencer, with a re-brand as a fashionista beauty consultant! Yes, okay, I was hesitant at first because I wasn’t sure about their true intentions. That new CEO of Goodie Glamor+… Grayben-Lee, he’s a real asshole sometimes but I’m confident I can bring my A game to the production.
Did you know that at age 3 and a half, I wrote and recorded my own song on the Fisher-Price Pop Til You Drop Rockin’ Recorder, the Diva Edition! What people have to understand is that I had fine motor skills at that age. I used to sing that song all the time. It was a little ballad called, “You suck!” I was a high-spirited toddler going through a mean phase, I guess, but I was very dedicated to my craft.
“Flash-forward to 2020 and I land the Build Your Brand hit show for this new streamer Goodie Glamor+. The way they pitch it, I’m the star of a Reality-TV show about average folks looking to become entrepreneurs. Well, first, I let those producers know that there is nothing, I mean nothing, average about NIECY-X. The show was a success and I landed a recording contract with a major record label. Yadda Yadda Yadda and now Goodie Glamor+ is working with producers on a Build Your Brand Reunion Show. I’m so excited! I get to market myself as an Influencer, with a re-brand as a fashionista beauty consultant! Yes, okay, I was hesitant at first because I wasn’t sure about their true intentions. That new CEO of Goodie Glamor+… Grayben-Lee, he’s a real asshole sometimes but I’m confident I can bring my A game to the production….
MEET MINA
FROM DOMESTIC GODDESS TO SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR
I’m nobody’s tradwife…
One day, I’d had enough, so I officially retired the tidy-little aprons and perfectly curated bunt cakes. I traded my "Domestic Goddess" food-blog era for combat boots, and a DIY personality that screams, "I am not your tradwife!" Sure, being a wholesome influencer was fine for a while until my predator landlord went from fan to stalker.
So this is my retake. Goth—all day. So yeah, I’ve agreed to join the reunion show, mostly because my “new me” doesn't pay the gas bill, yet.
Problem is… She is going to be there. You know, my former co-star? The one-who-will-not-be named. I have to share a screen with her again. I know about her little ‘Internet Apology ‘all right. How can I trust her? Anyway, I’ll be on the show—but I’m at least going to do it with a snarl on my face.
Watch me shine—like a hellcat. Stay spooky!